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ribbonraven
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Post subject: 3831
 Posted: Mar 01, 2007 - 04:50 AM
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Joined: Mar 01, 2007
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Hi everyone,
I'm 23 years old and I still have the sensitivities of a 6 year old child. There are times when I really cannot take teasing or downright name-calling and put downs. Sometimes I wonder if I set myself up for these things, which could be the case, or that others know in full conscience that if they say certain things to me, I will take it to heart, and that is how they get their fix.
For example...my family is sometimes really harsh with me. For the last year it has been a struggle to lose weight and every now and then I get a "why do you have fat rolls?" or "you eat too much-- that's why you're so fat". And then the other day, my sibling told me I had the face of a dead woman. Sometimes these comments come out of nowhere and they really hurt. There was once a time my brother kept calling me names until I started crying-- what gives?
I went to a family party about a month ago and there were a few relatives there who I haven't seen in years. One of them, a cousin, came up to me and said "how come your siblings are so nice and tall and slim and you're still short and fat? don't you grow?" I was absolutely shocked that someone who hasn't seem me in SIX years would have the audacity to tell me that. Needless to say, I started the early stages of blubbering until my mom took me aside and told me to ignore him.
I'm Middle eastern so I'm cursed with having a horrible nose...and the other day my sister's boyfriend comes up to me at school and tells me I should no longer take pictures because I'm so hideous, and why can't I be sweet and kind and beautiful like my sister? After he walked away, I just burst out in tears.
Everyone thinks that my siblings are so kind and sweet but they really are mean people. They seem to be the ones to do me more emotional harm than anything else. Yet everyone else thinks that I'M the one who is mean and nasty! I try so hard to dispel these beliefs in others but noone seems to believe me.
I must really sound like am emotional trainwreck, but I know that constantly reacting like this to mean comments isn't going to do me any good. And please, don't tell me that these comments really aren't mean, I'm "just taking them to heart" because if someone told you things like this, you'd probably cry too.
What should I do? I've considered seeing a psychologist. [addsig] |
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BabyBlueII
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Post subject: 3837
Posted: Mar 01, 2007 - 08:16 PM
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Joined: Mar 01, 2007
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Hello! That's nonsense. There's nothing wrong with you. Do not seek mental health help as you do not need it.
If this is how people around you speak to you, then:
1. Ignore them and extinguish their behavior.
2. Work on your mental image of yourself.
Go here to start working on your own image of yourself:
http://******.com/
/No advertising or links to advertising /
See yourself as strong, beautiful, resilient, kind, loving, popular, etc. Work on your own image of yourself. Stop all negative words floating through your head immediately!
You cannot affect what others think and do but you can affect how you think and what you do. Small minded people attack those whom they perceive as weak. They will not attack the strong.
If you are strong, they will leave you alone. If you feel yourself to be an exceptional human being then they will feel that you are as well.
Imagine yourself as you wish to be. Write it down, make pictures, imagine yourself as you wish to be. Avoid negative people (including your family) and negative situations. Keep your mind happy and bright and light and do not let those with negative intent anywhere near you.
It may take some time or it may be instantaneous, each situation is different.
[addsig] |
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ribbonraven
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Post subject: 3849
Posted: Mar 02, 2007 - 08:19 PM
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Joined: Mar 01, 2007
Posts: 3
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[quote]
If this is how people around you speak to you, then:
1. Ignore them and extinguish their behavior.
[/quote]
Unfortunately that doesn't always work out very well. In fact, some people who one would believe should be mature at their ages still carry on behaviors like mean-spirited 10-year olds. I know of some people who keep at it until they try to BREAK me-- I know that sounds really extreme but it's true. I've even tried responding back with positive behavior only to have an insult back about how I think I can be positive but it's "not working on them."[addsig] |
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loobyloo
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Post subject: 3943
Posted: Mar 08, 2007 - 05:00 PM
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Joined: Mar 05, 2007
Posts: 9
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| oh poor you its no wonder your feeling so sensitive.best to try and ignore these people,you will have your time trust me.i 2 have had my fair share of nasty,ignorant comments off friends,my 3 younger sisters are beautiful,tall,slim long brown glossy hair and beautifull big brown eyes,then theres me short,dull blonde hair,eyes that cant decide what colour they are and glasses.they may be more beautiful on the out side but 1 of my sisters inparticular has the ugliest personallity.keep your chin up hun it will get better[addsig] |
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aggressive1
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Post subject: 4116
Posted: Apr 10, 2007 - 12:31 AM
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Joined: Apr 09, 2007
Posts: 7
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| these people have issues of their own,and the only thing that makes them feel good about themselves is making a good person feel bad. Obviously you have some very good qualities and traits or they would not say anything. I go through the same thing and i figured out after several years it is actually jealousy you have qualities they will never have. I look at it that way and i feel good about myself. by the way its true. what people think in todays society holds about as much water as a bucket with holes in it!! Your Great!!![addsig] |
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usdm
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Post subject: 4132
Posted: Apr 12, 2007 - 05:13 PM
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Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 17
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| how about you lose some weight? it sounds like you're blaming others for making you feel bad, when in actuality you already feel bad about yourself. i'm a fatass too and i don't give 2 $h!ts about what people say about me.....you know why? cuz most of it is true!!! change what you don't like about yourself or stop crying about it.[addsig] |
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SWEDFOELIFE
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Post subject: 4149
Posted: Apr 12, 2007 - 07:44 PM
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Joined: Apr 12, 2007
Posts: 18
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| Try thinking you are some where else. Like in your own perfect little world. Live there cause reality sucks [addsig] |
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wordscount
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Post subject: 4591
Posted: Jun 29, 2007 - 08:29 AM
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Joined: Jun 29, 2007
Posts: 8
Status: Offline
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Hey dear chill... nothing wrong with u... this is proved by the fact that u are putting up such questions... you seem to be a real sweety to me...and believe me this happens to me also ... sometimes i become so over sensitive... and take things to my head... and then situations turn out really difficult for me... all u need to do is :THINK POSITIVE... this will definitely help 
[addsig] |
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