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VeTo
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Post subject: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
 Posted: Sep 16, 2008 - 10:58 PM
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Joined: Oct 09, 2007
Posts: 24
Status: Offline
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Hi,
I’m in the middle of a major moral dilemma. I’m in a serious relationship that is leading to marriage once we straighten out our finances. Our families know that we will get married and all my friends love him because he’s such a great, friendly, and fun-loving guy. Up until recently I felt totally content with my man, my life, etc. Recently I went on vacation with a few of my girlfriends and I partied at a friend’s house. There, I met a guy who I was dancing with. The way this guy held me…. I felt like I could melt in his arms. He touched me and danced with me and handled me in a way that no other man has ever done. This was not lewd dancing… it was just dancing. Afterwards I cuddled in his arms and we spoke about a couple of things. I don’t consider myself the most sexual person on earth, but for the first time in my life I felt so comfortable and so disarmed in this guys arms. The way he looked at me made me feel so desired. For the first time in my life felt a pulsing in my body…like I wanted to sleep with this guy and just be with him for as long as the feeling could last and for that moment I forgot all about my bf. The night ended… nothing happened… I told him I was soon to be married.
Since then, I realized that my bf never really holds me like that. I would try to cuddle in his arms and it wouldn’t be the same. I feel like all this time my eyes have been closed and now it’s open. I spoke to him about showing more affection and he asked me why after all these years I suddenly feel that his affection towards me is inadequate. He’s on to something. I don’t know what to do. I try to forget the feeling, but I can’t. I think about that night often. I have dreams about that night. I so yearn to feel that way again. What should I do? |
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Atlantean
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Post subject: RE: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
Posted: Sep 17, 2008 - 03:51 AM
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Joined: Apr 11, 2008
Posts: 11
Status: Offline
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| Are you engaged yet? If so, then I'd advise you to drop the idea of seeing this guy again. It's not worth it to ruin your relationship for a flick, which may or may not work out in the end. Weigh the pros and cons, but know that you'll be ruining his life, and potentially yours if you decide to pursue a relationship with this other man. |
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VeTo
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Post subject: RE: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
Posted: Sep 17, 2008 - 10:39 AM
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Joined: Oct 09, 2007
Posts: 24
Status: Offline
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We are not yet engaged but we often talk about marriage, raising a family, etc. I really want my bf to make me feel like the other man did. I wonder if I could teach him how to ...
I'm not sure that I could accept the fact that I may never feel that way again. |
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mickie
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Post subject: RE: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
Posted: Sep 17, 2008 - 02:09 PM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 146
Status: Offline
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You are not ready for marriage.
You may never be able to make your boyfriend into something he is not. Loving, cuddling affection is not always a learned behavior. |
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babyface
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Post subject: RE: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
Posted: Sep 18, 2008 - 02:38 PM
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Newbie
Joined: Jul 29, 2007
Posts: 56
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| are you raely ready for marriage , you are trying to compair bf to somrone you dont konw is this faor as the real will never come up to what you imagine , to me it is better to have a fling then to give the rest fo your life wondering what it might have being like , it might have being crap you will never know till you find out , sex is sex - marriage is a whole lot more as life has thaugh me .sex is not important to me but i am with the best man in the world and that makes the sex grate even thow he is not a sexy guy but i love him to bits |
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fiesta
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Post subject: RE: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
Posted: Sep 27, 2008 - 03:15 AM
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Joined: Sep 01, 2008
Posts: 31
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I'll give you a good counterpoint here. I have always been really "gifted" with regards to my touch and women. From a hug, to what-ever...many, many women have found my touch to be more than they could walk away from. A few women have felt it was life-changing, or so they said. Recently, I gave a friend of mine a hug and she told another friend that it made her wet and made her "quiver" down there just to hug me. Hahahaha.
I have been blessed by God with this ability, but I have to admit, that I'm really not special in any particular way. I'm very human, and very flawed. If a woman were to go by her 'gut instinct' based on my touch, she'd probably make a big mistake.
There are a lot more levels to me than my touch...my hug...etc. I have to admit though that for some reason, women act like I'm a "touch magnet" or something.
Back to the point. Don't buy your other guys "magical touch". He's probably just like me ...blessed with ONE gift. Stay with your b/f who has what you really want. Even if the touch is a little less "electrifying", he may be your better long-term choice.
My wife and I have been together for 22 years, so her choice wasn't flawed, and that's not my point, but I just want to say that I understand that some people just know how to touch others. I happen to be one of them.
fiesta |
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sex_and_the_bag
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Post subject: RE: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
Posted: Sep 28, 2008 - 09:06 AM
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Joined: Sep 28, 2008
Posts: 5
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smackie9
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Post subject: RE: MAJOR MORAL DILEMMA
Posted: Sep 28, 2008 - 05:58 PM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 798
Status: Offline
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| You just realized you don't have that deep soul touching connection. You cannot make him be like that........it's all based on chemistry and not technique. Maybe it's time to think over what is real important to you. |
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