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mythricia
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Post subject: Masturbation.. Addiction?
 Posted: Mar 09, 2010 - 09:16 PM
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Joined: Mar 09, 2010
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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Hello there!
I've started to realize I have a bit of a problem, or at least I kinda think I do, and would love some other ladies' input on it.. I'm going to be rather straight forward so if you're not into reading bluntly sexual things, shy away.. (And if it's the wrong part of the forum - feel free to move it!)
Not really sure where to start with it, but, I'll set a few things straight..
I'm a fairly average, healthy and reasonably fit 21 years old woman, no particular things that should affect my sex life or drive to any extremes.. I've been single for about 3 years. My first relationship was with another woman, which lasted for nearly 3 years (I guess I got rather lucky), but after we unfortunately had to part ways, I basically had 2 brief, bland and mostly frustrating relationships with men that year..
So, give that it's been 3 years (A bit less actually but I like rounded numbers), I've had to take care of myself, 'yknow! I've always been a fairly sexual creature. I tend to make sexually oriented jokes a lot, and it's something my friends are used to, and no one really takes anything seriously or thinks me weird for it.. I'm just openly sexual and I like being so, I like talking about it and joking about it, and when I can, help someone if they have problems with it.
As part of this mentality I guess, I've always masturbated a lot. I did it when I had my girlfriend, it was just another thing to do together and what not. Not so much with the guys - I was mostly depressed and just insecure around them for the short time I were in relationships with any... Otherwise it's just been a regular part of my life since when I first discovered it long-long ago!
Once a day, or every other day or so, kept me happy. Gave me the needed dose of brain-meds to relax and just keep a fairly good mood. I've been a bit on the low-side of moods ever since the breakup, even now 3 years later, so masturbation only really became more and more of a usual thing to do. Not necessarily doing it to the end - just a relaxing few minutes now and then, sometimes more sometimes less. To me it just seemed a healthy, pleasurable habit.
Now, this last year, I've kind of gotten drastically "worse", and it's started to feel like, I don't know... A chore.. And something I'm doing out of habit almost.
These days it's not once every other day or so, it's twice a day. No less.
It's turned into this silly habit where I go to bed... Turn on my back and just, do it, and I do it until I cum. If I don't, I'll feel furiously frustrated to the point of wanting to just, I don't know, scream, cry, feeling immediately depressed. So this doesn't happen often - since even if it means working on it for 60 minutes straight until I lay there sore, bathing in my own sweat, I'll be damned if I can't get there!
That's done. Rest for a bit, let the chemistry invade my brain, turn over and try to sleep. Sometimes this doesn't work... My head is still in a buzz, thoughts everywhere flying back and forth and I just can't sleep. What happens half an hour later? The same thing all over again. Turn over, and start rubbing.
At first I was like, yeah, okay, I'm just being horny. I'd try to blame it on the time of the month, or lack of actual sex, or something, but it just didn't seem to fit, and eventually it was just the norm - so it definitely didn't fit any sort of contemporary explanation. Lets not even talk about how my periods are now - besides irregular, but thats another issue...
Eventually it wasn't just a self-medication for sleeping - it became a much needed medication to get out of bed properly. I have no job at the moment, no school, nothing like that to get out in time for... Mostly I can get up whenever I feel like. This doesn't remove the frustration of just, not, having, the energy... Until I masturbate. Once, maybe twice - and there it is, I can get up, sit on the edge of my bed and wonder what the hell I've been doing for the past hour, and get my day started.
During my days there's nothing really out of the ordinary. Sometimes you wanna go relax a bit, but that happens to anyone - and honestly I rarely ever do it outside of bedtime / getting up in the morning.
Sometime it's just unbearable. I'll do it like twice to put myself to (restless) sleep, I'll wake up in the middle of the night and just, automatically do it before sleeping again.. And again... and again... And yeah. Sometimes waking up just, aching, feeling like I had the most epic one-night-stand in history - while in fact it was just me, myself and I. It's not even good. It stopped being pleasurable a year ago.... Sometimes it's good. Sometimes. 90% of the time it's just a habit I follow to be able to sleep at all.
I don't mind masturbating. I like it. But what is this?
It's starting to affect my life rather seriously, it's draining my energy, it's affecting my sleep, it's making me royally pissed off.
Anyone ever had a similar experience over longer periods of time? I didn't really consciously consider it a problem until just these past 12 months or so, but I realize now that it's a habit that's consistently gotten stronger over the past 3 years.
Help, please... Even just to say you've had a similar experience :\
If it's of any relevance I'm also an Aspie, so I have some tendencies on obsessive and routinely behavior sometimes, and such. I realize this might ring a bell right away, but I don't think it's enough to fit the bill, so to speak.
I even recently went to purchase myself something to help with the masturbation - I never was and still don't claim to like the idea of sex toys, but there it is, I have one, a small handy glass one. I guess it'll make a curious paperweight if I get over this! But I haven't even tried it yet - I'm a bit bashful over it (ironically considering I'm otherwise kind of care-free about sexually related things), and I'm not sure if it will be some sort of aid and relief or if it'll just be a catalyst for even more addiction and bad habit.. *Shrugs* I just don't know.
Thanks to anyone bothering to read it all, I'd really appreciate some kind of response..
Toodles |
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smackie9
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Post subject: RE: Masturbation.. Addiction?
Posted: Mar 13, 2010 - 04:00 PM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 1063
Status: Offline
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You may have OCD. (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). With Frequent sexual activity such as masturbation, creates a surplus of sex hormones and neurotransmitters in the brain. With an excess of these chemicals, you may feel fatigued, and have trouble reaching an orgasm.
I am not a doctor. But I recommend that you do see your doctor for a proper diagnosis. Self medicating and trying to deal with it yourself, can cause frustration, or more problems. |
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