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jagger_valance
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Post subject: The Men's rules
 Posted: Dec 02, 2009 - 11:49 AM
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Joined: Dec 02, 2009
Posts: 9
Status: Offline
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The Men's rules
We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are OUR rules:
Please note… these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
* Subtle hints do not work!
* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!
* JUST SAY IT!
1. ‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine, Really
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as:
* Sex,
* Sport,
* Cars,
* or Computers
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, it’s like camping |
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ebrown
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Post subject:
Posted: Dec 06, 2009 - 06:46 AM
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Joined: Dec 06, 2009
Posts: 14
Status: Offline
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Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
Saturday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
As a male I feel sorry for you if you think this crap it true for all men. I'm a male, who makes his living as an artist, I hate watching all sports and can't relate to it at all. I have no problem asking for directions. I'm not gay. I don't understand why when date men like this if they don't like these traits. |
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CrystalLee
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Post subject:
Posted: Jan 03, 2010 - 08:24 PM
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Newbie
Joined: Mar 13, 2008
Posts: 77
Status: Offline
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| i have to say that is the dunbest thing i have ever read.....not all men are like that and to be honest i would say 1 in 100 are.....i pity any women who ends up with a male like that.... |
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smackie9
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Post subject:
Posted: Jan 04, 2010 - 03:35 PM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 1063
Status: Offline
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If you have that many issues with women, maybe you need to look at the women you choose to date.
The women you have described are typically young, immature, and shallow. I feel you date based on looks and not compatibility.
There's lots of ladies out there that love sports, are not concerned what designer labels they wear and are mature enough to go find something else to do if they find you boring. |
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guiliannemaxford
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Post subject:
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 - 03:02 PM
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Joined: Feb 21, 2010
Posts: 11
Status: Offline
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Well, I think the first post was tongue in cheek and lighthearted. I'm unable to take a list that's numbered 1. all the way down very seriously. I've seen numerous of its kind floating around on the internet or wafting into my junk mail. All in good fun.
As a woman, I personally adhere to:
"Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
* Subtle hints do not work!
* Strong hints do not work!
* Obvious hints do not work!
* JUST SAY IT!" |
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john-robes
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Post subject: hi
Posted: Feb 26, 2010 - 04:28 PM
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Joined: Feb 26, 2010
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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| thanks jagger for sharing the useful information i have ever heard of . great keep it up |
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anniex98
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Post subject: RE: hi
Posted: Mar 03, 2010 - 05:17 PM
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Joined: Mar 02, 2010
Posts: 2
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| Wow.. take a joke, people. |
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wintoday12
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Post subject: RE: hi
Posted: Mar 15, 2010 - 08:57 PM
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Joined: Mar 15, 2010
Posts: 3
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I am sure this is a joke. The fact that he thinks he'll be sleeping on a couch, that night, means he must be in a relationship. If she is real enough to throw him on the couch after those self-centered remarks, she is probably a pretty secure woman. Also, if he knows he going on the couch, he knows his remarks are insensitive, so this is definitely a joke. I say we laugh it off and move on. Besides, if you're a woman, you know you have the power.
By the way, I really don't think sleeping on the couch is like camping. The couch is definitely, not as flexible as a sleeping bag. |
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emilylauren
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Post subject: RE: hi
Posted: Mar 23, 2010 - 07:33 PM
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Joined: Mar 23, 2010
Posts: 5
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| I know this is a joke but its stupid...and represents the men that aren't secure enough to have real relationships based on equity and respect...the female version of this is also pretty lame...it's just based on stereotypes! |
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ladycaroline
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Post subject: RE: hi
Posted: Sep 13, 2010 - 02:57 PM
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Joined: Sep 13, 2010
Posts: 5
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The rules for women.
1. We don't need them, everything we do is right, deal with it.
2. If Wrong revert to rule 1. |
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