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kingston1973
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Post subject: How do women like to be approached?
 Posted: Jul 19, 2009 - 02:39 PM
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Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 6
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Hi,
I'm looking for your opinion on how you like a guy to approach you.
I live in London and often visit a place called the South Bank by the Thames to meet friends for coffee. It's a busy place this time of year, and lots of people sitting in the parks reading and enjoying the sun.
My question is this: would you get freaked out if a guy come up to you while you were relaxing in the sun and basically said
'Hi, I'm just on my way to meet a friend for coffee in about 10 minutes, I saw you sat here and just wanted to come over and say hi' and introduce myself.
I've done this a couple of times and have a good chat with people, but can't seem to get it out of my head that women in general would find this odd so tend to listen to my inner voice and more often than not, will not approach.
I find bars/clubs very load and hard work to talk and listen to someone. There are so many opportunities to meet people during the day. Malls and parks etc. Are women open to being approached during the day? How do you like to be approached?
Thanks for your time.
Paul. |
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smackie9
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Jul 19, 2009 - 04:54 PM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 1072
Status: Offline
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As long as you are being genuine and not pushy you are doing just fine. Be sure to understand there body language. If there is little eye contact, or they are trying to continue reading there book or looking away a lot, that's your cue to leave them alone. Always be polite and never ask anything too personal...that will make things awkward. The fact that you tell them that you are waiting for friends is perfect. That takes any pressure off them and doesn't make you look like a perv going around hitting on women in a park.
It's best to meet someone at a social event like a friends party, wedding, etc. You look better to a woman if you are surrounded with friends. And try going to a different type of bar that's isn't so noisy, or go to one that has seating out on a patio, or an up scale trendy restaurant that has a club-ish atmosphere. I hope you like to dance bc the ladies really like a dude that is willing to get up on the dance floor. |
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kingston1973
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Jul 19, 2009 - 05:27 PM
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Joined: Mar 30, 2008
Posts: 6
Status: Offline
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Thanks for your reply.
I'm never pushy and always pick up on whether they want to talk or not. If I feel they don't want to talk I'll bid them a good day and leave them in peace. That's kind of why a say about meeting friends in ten minutes. This lets her know that I'm not going to hanging around for long, and that I've just come over to say hi in a very casual manner.
I just find people in bar/clubs are different. women are being hassled by drunken guys all night and kind of have their shields up. During the day, people are more relaxed and seem more frindly.
Sadly I don't dance, due to the fact I dance like Mr Bean than John Travolta.
Paul. |
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smackie9
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Jul 19, 2009 - 11:01 PM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 1072
Status: Offline
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| The bar isn't as bad as you say. It depends on what type of bar. Yes there are ones that are like a meat market, but I do find that a more casual place like a sports bar it's easier to meet people. But like I said it's best to meet someone at a social event where you can mix and mingle. Being with a group is a plus bc you can invite someone to join you. That's when you can see how they interact with your friends, etc. Take some dancing lessons...learning a few ballroom steps never hurt anyone. |
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fame123
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Jul 20, 2009 - 06:08 AM
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Joined: Jul 20, 2009
Posts: 12
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| Your lines sound polite and genuine enough, I guess it really just depends on how the girl interprets it. You could mean well, but they could see otherwise. Maybe it's best you find a friend who has people he/she can introduce you, that way it won't be as awkward. |
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smackie9
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Jul 20, 2009 - 06:24 AM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 1072
Status: Offline
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| I was thinking too what you can do to get more exposure is to join a group of some interest. Having a common interest makes it easy to strike up a convo....and it's nice to have something in common. |
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VeTo
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Nov 28, 2009 - 02:24 PM
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Joined: Oct 09, 2007
Posts: 33
Status: Offline
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I agree with all that was said.
I would like to add that i think it's very sexy when a guy comes up to me looks me in the eye confidently and says something bold like "you are a very beautiful woman" and then after he says what he wanted to say he leaves it open ended so if I want to entertain it I could or if I want to stay flattered and leave the situation as is, i could do that too. It takes a lot of confidence to say that and I've always admired guys who could do that. It really turns me on.
There are some guys who are more subtle and sometimes I find that annoying. I understand the subtle approach, but the bold approach touches me deep down inside. Some of my friends, however don't prefer the confident approach. They may find it too unexpected or shocking and maybe not even know how to respond. That should just add to the excitement! The lovely thing is that the guy usually does it in a way that requires no real response. He won't be pushy, just confident. I think deep down inside all women admire it. We all love guys who are sure of themselves. |
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mctlong
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Jan 10, 2010 - 02:43 AM
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Joined: Jan 05, 2009
Posts: 35
Status: Offline
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| This is an old post, but I just had to reply. I think the approach Paul described is super sweet and an appropriate way to meet women. For me, meeting a guy during the day is much less intimidating than meeting someone at a bar or club. |
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cinnamon
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Feb 10, 2010 - 03:04 PM
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Joined: Feb 10, 2010
Posts: 7
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| It seems like an appropriate way to approach women. It seems like that nice balance between being bold, but not overpowering. If Paul is still on the site, it would be nice to hear progress from last year's posts. |
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guiliannemaxford
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Post subject: RE: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Feb 21, 2010 - 02:54 PM
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Joined: Feb 21, 2010
Posts: 11
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| Confident but not cocky. Friendly but not over-eager. This is a good guideline. |
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willjacque83
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Post subject: Re: How do women like to be approached?
Posted: Jul 10, 2010 - 11:26 AM
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Joined: Jul 10, 2010
Posts: 2
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kingston1973 wrote: Hi,
I'm looking for your opinion on how you like a guy to approach you.
I live in London and often visit a place called the South Bank by the Thames to meet friends for coffee. It's a busy place this time of year, and lots of people sitting in the parks reading and enjoying the sun.
My question is this: would you get freaked out if a guy come up to you while you were relaxing in the sun and basically said
'Hi, I'm just on my way to meet a friend for coffee in about 10 minutes, I saw you sat here and just wanted to come over and say hi' and introduce myself.
I've done this a couple of times and have a good chat with people, but can't seem to get it out of my head that women in general would find this odd so tend to listen to my inner voice and more often than not, will not approach.
I find bars/clubs very load and hard work to talk and listen to someone. There are so many opportunities to meet people during the day. Malls and parks etc. Are women open to being approached during the day? How do you like to be approached?
Thanks for your time.
Paul.
Each woman wants to be approached in a certain way, so your style of striking up a conversation may not work on some women while it works on others.
I find, though, that more gets accomplished when one of the first thing a guy does is ask my name.
It shows that he is not just interested in my appearance, but wants to learn more about me as a person. Also, don't talk about yourself. Ask her questions about herself, her hobbies, her family, all that. People, in general, honestly like to talk about themselves, so this would be a good way to start up a conversation. |
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miggins
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 01, 2010 - 08:03 AM
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Joined: Aug 01, 2010
Posts: 5
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Hon,
I don't really understand what you are on about, but as for myself, I like to be approached from the front in a well lit place, nothing worse than some pervert creeping up behind you in a park at midnight, by the way, did I ever tell you how I met my first husband.... and besides, when you get to be my age, getting someone to approach you (as opposed to mug you) can seem quite thrilling! |
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suzanna
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 21, 2010 - 03:07 PM
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Joined: Aug 09, 2010
Posts: 20
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if a handsome boy comes to me for a good chat in the park-why not? i'm not a wild person and chat isn't something wrong)) but of course it depends on that boy's behaviour-he musn't be annoying-otherwise i'd run away)))  |
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jlt07
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Post subject:
Posted: Nov 08, 2010 - 03:41 AM
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Joined: Nov 08, 2010
Posts: 6
Status: Offline
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Okay, what's with guys on this site on how to approach women, talk to women, etc... Just saying there are many attraction/seduction sites out there. That's the power of google, that's how I found this.
I'm gonna hand this over to my boyfriend by the way, who doesn't want to give up his location in the seduction community.
-approach infront but body language indirectly opening over the shoulder (non-threatening)
-use a question that stricks a conversation, and doesn't have a yes/no answer
-eye-contact
-listen to what they have to say
-be friendly, and polite (during the day) and fun and exciting (at night/bars)
-be confident, not cocky
-have fun!
Anymore question message this account I'll give you a link to a mens dating site. |
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phdinphy21
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Post subject:
Posted: Feb 08, 2011 - 06:39 AM
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Joined: Feb 08, 2011
Posts: 7
Status: Offline
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Hi, my name's Robert. I also approach in a similar fashion as does Paul. If I think the girl is attractive I go up and tell her. I sometimes have success but most of the times I do not. I want to be able to, if I see a gorgeous girl, go up to her, be honest and be able to attract her. I'm 21 and I usually go up to girls at either school or at the mall if I go.
Please help me. Give some advice on what I may afterwards. A question, statement, anything. My usual approach may be as follows:
Hey excuse me, (as I'm stopping them from walking or standing), I'm on my way home now (I always like to say I'm leaving soon. A technique I read in a pua forum) but, I find you absolutely gorgeous or stunning or adorable (how I truely feel about her), and I just wanted to say hi. So hi, I'm Robert. Then they always reply with their names.
From there I may something such as:
Listen I think you seem pretty smart as well (or anything I may think of them) and I'd love to get to know a little bit about you.
From here, I can use help. I do continue the conversation but it's generally not as great or bold as the beginning. Please any advice on what I may say next. Should I ask a question at this point?? |
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