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dorothyrogersilva
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Post subject: cant stat my husband would like an affair
 Posted: Dec 04, 2008 - 04:47 AM
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Joined: Dec 02, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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Hello everybody i'm 27 years old and my husband is 35 and we've been married for about 4 years ,we dated for 9 years... things have always been wonderful but during the past months i cant stand him he's always complaining, he just want to sleep all the time since he works at nights and he wants everythingggggg to be so perfect even the curtains must be well closed otherwise he gets mad, as soon as he arrives home he starts looking around like an inspector to see what is wrong in order to complain and yell.
i've talked to him several times and beg him to relax once in a while and enjoy life with me
be patient and less workaholic ...but he just can't and that makes me fell miserable because i'm the opposite ..i'm very patient and do things with joy without complaining....he also says that he is tired to have sex....he's not interested...i used to enjoy it and he was my whole life..now i do not care !!
I wanted to get pregnant and was fascinated about the idea of being a mother but he hates the idea of having children.
he is mothering me all the time, and he has a new topic each day to argue.
i dont want to kiss him,hold him or being with him...i dont enjoy his company..... and i dont wanna have sex with him either...i've been trying to be nice and patient but i cant do it anymore...to make matters worst is that i cant stop thinking about a man who's my student ..he's 30 and we get on very well and he's so nice, funny ...works hard but knows how to relax....sometimes i just wish he could hug me and kiss me ...i'm tired to be judge and being perfect to avoid bothering him living with a man who can't stand non perfect people or non perfect things is making me feel ill, he just want to work,eat ,argue and sleep...no sex..not going out, no friends meeting ...nothing.
he tried psychologist and therapy but.......he's worse
this student of mine is living with his girlfriend and has a baby ....although i know that he likes me...what could i do? do not wanna cheat on him but i feel horrible and bad for having feelings for other man who's not my husband. |
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whraven
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Post subject: RE: cant stat my husband would like an affair
Posted: Dec 04, 2008 - 04:26 PM
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Newbie
Joined: Jan 30, 2008
Posts: 45
Status: Offline
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I really sympathize; you are in a very difficult position. It definitely sounds like he has a psychological problem, and since therapy didn't help him, this isn't going to get better. If we were friends sitting over coffee, I'd have to ask: why an affair? Is this marriage really worth keeping if things aren't going to get better, and may, in fact, get worse? You may want to see a therapist yourself, one who can help you outline your options, understand what may be happening with your husband and how they might go in the future, how each option may affect both of you, deal with your feelings about the options, and find the strength to make the best decision for yourself.
I really wish you the best. I know from personal experience that it's tough dealing with someone who has psychological problems that they won't accept help for.  |
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smackie9
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Post subject:
Posted: Dec 12, 2008 - 06:12 PM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 808
Status: Offline
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| If he has had these problems for awhile why would you even consider having children with him? And why marry someone who doesn't want the same things as you, like having a family? Having an affair isn't your answer. If you feel you have exhausted every avenue to resolve the problems within your marriage, then I suggest a divorce. Not every marriage is salvageable. |
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