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CallmeSolace
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Post subject: About my Girlfriend
 Posted: Jul 28, 2008 - 03:55 AM
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Joined: Jul 28, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
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Ok, before you ask, yes I am a guy. I really really really love my girlfriend, she means everything to me. We've been together for 16 months now. However I'm having a bit of an issue right now and had no idea where to go for help. I thought about it and eventually realized that the best place to ask for help would be in a woman's forum.
So this is what's bothering me, keep in mind this is awkward to talk about. My girlfriend treats me really well, but lately our sex life has just been crappy. First of all, she never initiates anything, its always me. We'll have alone time and then I'll try to get something started and it just takes forever to get her going, almost like its a chore to her. I know girls don't turn on like a switch, but even after spending all day together and me treating her great she still won't start anything. Sometimes she'll say, "I want to make love to you" while we're out at the movies but when we get home later she'll say that she's too tired. And the times when things do get heated its always two things, kissing and sex, that's it. There isn't any variety. Before anyone judges her, she treats me great in every other way. It just seems like her sex drive is Zero.
Am I a jerk because I want a better sex life with my girlfriend? |
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danni.shep
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Post subject: RE: About my Girlfriend
Posted: Jul 30, 2008 - 07:43 PM
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Joined: Feb 19, 2008
Posts: 70
Status: Offline
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no i woudnt say your a jerk...lol everybody to there own but she might not have a high sex drive? plus i sopose everything isnt about sex try something different in the bedroom area.... abit of foreplay watch sumat to get her in the mood or try talking dirty, also tell her what you want to do to her before bedtime...lol it might just get her going just relax and have fun...  |
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kitten11
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Post subject: RE: About my Girlfriend
Posted: Sep 10, 2008 - 09:07 PM
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Joined: Sep 10, 2008
Posts: 5
Status: Offline
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| No, you're not a jerk at all. It's perfectly normal to want a sultry and exciting sex life. But like I say, if what you're doing isn't working, try something else. Yes, you may spend all day together. But try cooking her a nice candle lit dinner. Or offer to take a candle lit bath with her. Do something that she likes and will appreciate. Don't just assume she doesn't want to have sex. All people get turned on in different ways. Try giving her a nice massage. My boyfriend writes me love letters. I mean, there is lots you can do to show your love for her and tons of things you can do to get her in the mood. Try something different. It's worth a shot. |
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fiesta
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Post subject: RE: About my Girlfriend
Posted: Sep 11, 2008 - 01:30 AM
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Joined: Sep 01, 2008
Posts: 31
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Well, guy to guy...I'll tell you that the comments so far are dead-on accurate. The only thing I have to add is that as a guy remember this:
1) You don't DESERVE to have sex with your girlfriend. It's a gift that she gives you...it's a gift of her body and her trust and her love, so you have to treat it as such. You can't just assume because you were nice and all day that this "entitles" you to her body. It is HERS. It belongs to HER and always will, so if you get to have fun with it, it will always be on her terms (as it should be).
2) I don't know your ages, but I'm guessing pretty young. If I'm wrong correct me. There are a lot of stresses on a young girl who's having sex. Enough stress to make her not want to do it (even though in many ways she probably wants to do it very badly). Stress of the possibility of unwanted pregnancy is HUGE. Not to mention stress of anything else, like STD's (not to insult you...but), dealing with her folks should they find out about it, etc.
3) Sometimes in a guys anxiousness to get to the "loving", he appears too "goal oriented". Just relax and take it easy with her. If you fight to get it from her, you add to her stress level by 100X and you may get it for example 2x per (week, month, year...you fill in the blank). BUT if you give her some space, and let her make the decision WITH YOU, you're still going to get it the same amount (maybe even more often).
Your not a jerk at all...but understand that to you it's a simple matter of wanting to get some and to her it's a much more complex and stressful issue. If you chill out a bit, take the advice of the folks above and just let things happen, the result will not be immediate, but I think you'll be very happy with the way things turn out for you.
Ladies, please correct me if I'm wrong.
Cheers. |
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smackie9
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Post subject:
Posted: Sep 11, 2008 - 01:47 AM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 808
Status: Offline
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| Well I know this is difficult for guys to do but COMMUNICATION with your partner is so important. Ask her what you can do for her to make it better for the both of you. Show some concern and compassion. There could be other underlying issues in your relationship that you are not aware of. So sit down with her and do some talking....time to reconnect. |
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babyface
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Post subject:
Posted: Sep 18, 2008 - 03:03 PM
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Joined: Jul 29, 2007
Posts: 56
Status: Offline
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| if you are only being nice to her for to have sex with her she might see through this as it can get very ruteen evey fast , the old go out for the day do things together og back to hers start kissing and then jump to sex weman need more then just a kiss , if you are nice to her give her all the time in the world she will give you what you deserve and then when you have done all that Fiesta sad and built good communication with your girl she will give you the best sex you will ever get in your life , sex is worthless for man and women with out this . if sex is all you are after use your hand |
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