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arrowhead
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Post subject: New guy, looking for advice from females
 Posted: Jul 17, 2008 - 01:14 AM
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Joined: Jul 17, 2008
Posts: 6
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ok well this is my second post, just want to say hello and see if i can get some help with problems i guess u can say i have.
ok well im not the guy who gets a lot of ladies, or any at all. i am quite a shy guy when it comes to the ladies. I do a lot of activities (gym, go out with friends, meet new people). im a good looking guy (from what im told), i got a great body (ex soccer player, now 4x a week at gym), i am a 19 year old virgin and im starting to really worry of why i get so nervous when it comes to females. my mom always bugs me saying "why don't you have a gf" or "bring the girls home i want to meet them" but i dont have any girls to bring home 
so heres my story (its time to impress mom)... i go to college and am taking some summer courses right now and their is this cute girl in my class but i don't know how to approach her, what to say to her. i have a fear of rejection (even tho i have never even tried to approach a female). please help me on what do you think when a guy comes up to you, does it scare you or do you jump in and be happy hes doing this. how can i tell if shes interested and stuff. all info is VERY appreciated. |
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arrowhead
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Post subject: RE: New guy, looking for advice from females
Posted: Jul 19, 2008 - 04:49 PM
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Joined: Jul 17, 2008
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mickie
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Post subject: RE: New guy, looking for advice from females
Posted: Jul 20, 2008 - 12:43 AM
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Moderator
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 146
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Speak to and visit with LOTS of women your age.
Conversation is an art, not a science.
Develope your skills by using them.
Plain girls are just as much fun as cute girls. |
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arrowhead
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Post subject: RE: New guy, looking for advice from females
Posted: Jul 21, 2008 - 03:54 AM
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Joined: Jul 17, 2008
Posts: 6
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| thanks for advice but is it ok to approach her after class? or would that be bad. |
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VeTo
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Post subject: RE: New guy, looking for advice from females
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 - 09:49 PM
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Joined: Oct 09, 2007
Posts: 24
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That would be a great idea. Is she quiet? Is she sociable? If she is quiet then it will prolly be up to u to carry the conversation so just let things flow so u minimize the awkwardness. lol. If she's sociable then it should be very easy to flow. Hope it works out. Don't be afraid. Really, what is the worst thing that could happen? You have to start somewhere.
And it may be nice to befriend girls so you feel more comfortable conversing with female friends and that way when you approach a female you won't feel much anxiety. |
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arrowhead
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Post subject: RE: New guy, looking for advice from females
Posted: Jul 23, 2008 - 11:55 PM
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Joined: Jul 17, 2008
Posts: 6
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| thanks veto for the reply, she looks as she is a quiet kind of girl. i tried making eye contact and saw her glancing over at times so i think thats a + for me. hopefully can pick my "balls" up and talk to her as she is very very cute and i wanna get to know her. |
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smackie9
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Post subject: RE: New guy, looking for advice from females
Posted: Jul 25, 2008 - 05:34 PM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 798
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| You have to accept that rejection is a reality when it comes to dating. It happens to all of us. So don't sweat t if you get turned down. It cannot discourange you from asking someone else out. You increase your chances of finding a gf the more chances you take by asking many girls out. |
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arrowhead
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Post subject: RE: New guy, looking for advice from females
Posted: Jul 27, 2008 - 03:08 AM
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Joined: Jul 17, 2008
Posts: 6
Status: Offline
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| i understand the rejection part. but getting over the nervousness is whats hard for me. any techniques to get over it? |
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smackie9
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Post subject:
Posted: Jul 27, 2008 - 05:50 AM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 798
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| Practise. It's comes from experience. So try talking to other girls that don't intimidate you. |
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thesecretone
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 04, 2008 - 10:36 PM
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Joined: Apr 19, 2008
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Well i got similar problems, but mine stem from my manhood (worried what thy will think), i need to ask more women out i am not botherd if they say yes i just need to ask them to get ove rmy fear. I would recomend 2 things to look for on the net.
1. Any David DeAngelo item or book.
2. Any Marius Panzarella item or book.
They really have some good ideas in them.
I would be grateful if the women would reply after reading this .
Many thanks.
J. |
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smackie9
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Post subject:
Posted: Aug 05, 2008 - 01:02 AM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 798
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| I think a lot of those "How to attract women" sites give false hope. They lead you on so you will buy their books or pay for a subscription. You have to remember, even if you use their methods, there's no way it's gonna get you the amount of women they claim. Women have complex tastes......not all women are attracted to good looks , money, or sweet talk. But what can be attractive is having a strong social circle and many interests. |
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fiesta
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Post subject:
Posted: Sep 06, 2008 - 09:51 PM
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Joined: Sep 01, 2008
Posts: 31
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Here's my advice.
You just have to take the plunge so-to-speak. If you WANT a girl, you just have to ASK for one.
1) I dated DOZENS of girls in my HS and College days. I asked out probably HUNDREDS of girls.
2) In order to date dozens of girls, you're going to have to ask out hundreds. It's a fact. Sometimes your approach is going to suck. Sometimes she's not going to be turned on by your appearance....or 1,000 other reasons.
3) I got rejected a lot more than I got a "YES". BUT I still dated dozens of girls. If someone didn't want to date me I was fine with that, I went to the next one or the next one or the next one.
4) Obviously this is a "game" of sorts. It's a game of numbers. If you don't TRY, then you'll never WIN. Get out there and try! You'll be ok!
5) Don't know what to say? Just walk up and say "you're beautiful. are you single"? Say what you're going to say SINCERELY. Smile at her when you say it. "You've got really pretty hair" will get you a "Thank you" from her. It will also get you a smile. It's hard not to like someone who thinks you are awesome...so let her think you think she's awesome and you've got 3/4 of the battle fought. Be confident. Not cocky, just when you tell someone she has pretty eyes, you should be able to feel confident in yourself that she does have pretty eyes. It doesn't matter if she has a hooked nose and 4 legs. If she has pretty eyes, tell her so.
6) So, it's a numbers game. ASK HER. Give her a compliment. Smile at her. Be confident and genuine. and lastly, RELAX. Like someone said above, the worst thing that's going to happen is you're going to get turned down. That will just give you more experience for next time. |
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fiesta
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Post subject:
Posted: Sep 06, 2008 - 09:58 PM
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Joined: Sep 01, 2008
Posts: 31
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smackie9 wrote:
I think a lot of those "How to attract women" sites give false hope. They lead you on so you will buy their books or pay for a subscription. You have to remember, even if you use their methods, there's no way it's gonna get you the amount of women they claim. Women have complex tastes......not all women are attracted to good looks , money, or sweet talk. But what can be attractive is having a strong social circle and many interests.
Smackie makes great points here.
1) Sites sell subscriptions. Authors sell books. Be YOURSELF! A girl who is going to be interested in YOU needs to be interested in YOU...not someone's technique. Ask enough girls enough times and you'll have your own technique to write a book about.
2) Women have complex tastes. What motivates one may not motivate another at all! One girl cares nothing about looks only personality and another cares nothing about personality, only looks.
3) Women like interesting men. Women also like entertaining men. They like men with a sense of humor. A good social circle is also nice. |
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anti
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Post subject:
Posted: Sep 07, 2008 - 06:13 PM
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Joined: Sep 02, 2008
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Agreed with Smackie and Fiesta.
Females tend to be different! Very different. Take in to consideration on what type of girl she is, or might be. But don't believe that you are correct, you might be disappointed.
For example, My boyfriend and I. At first... we didn't seem to be made for each other. According to him, I was to "wild" and "different" for his liking. (( I'll admit At times I can be a tad bit tooo much and I can be wild and crazy and oh just plenty of things.))
BUT he never did consider that under all of that I was different, I can be quiet and sweet. We dated a few times, went for coffee and things got rolling. Took a while before he met the calmer version of me. all in all, we've been dating for over a year and a half.
He believed me to be a big no no. But Now I'm his Yes yes, planning on getting married and moving in together when we finish college next year.
Don't straight out ask the girl out either, you might want to befriend her first. Things tend to be simpler if you do. First a friend, then someone to date. Get to knowing each other, just because she's cute it doesn't make her your kind of girl. These things take time. Or so I think...
well those are just my thoughts on how it would work with me. Might be different for you. |
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