| Author |
Message |
midlifecrisis
|
|
Post subject: Husband doesn't find me attractive
 Posted: Aug 23, 2008 - 07:46 PM
|
|
Joined: Aug 23, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
|
|
Hi, needed someone to talk to and thought I would give this a shot. I'm female, 44 years old, married for 24 years. 2 kids, lots of things to be thankful for but going through tough time. My husband and I don't really have any physical relation anymore. We even talk about it and long story short, he just doesn't find me attractive. He's not mean about it, he is loving, kind, we are sort of like roommates. He says he would like a physical relationship with me but can't get past the fact that I'm gained some weight, don't exercise, don't "walk, talk, dress" the part for sex. He doesn't even bring all of this up, I do because I'm lonely and horny all the time. It really bottles down to my weight. I think he's physically ok, as far as he doesn't have any sexual problems. I think he gets his needs periodially through porn, which is not shocking to me. He doesn't have much time alone so I know he's not having an affair or mastubating 10 times a day or anything. He just can't get past the weight.
I know I should just loose the weight and get over it and be thankful for what I've got but I'm having trouble getting myself out of the rut and being able to act decent and civil to him. I guess I'm sort of pissed about it and stubborn so I can't get myself together.
Again, he doesn't gripe or bring any of this up, he seems happy to just go with the flow. I on the other hand read novels and am dying for a kiss or something, it's been probably 2 months since we have even kissed. At this point I feel stupid for even dressing up or trying anything. Thanks. |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
|
mickie
|
|
|
Post subject: RE: Husband doesn
Posted: Aug 24, 2008 - 01:58 AM
|
|
Moderator
Joined: Aug 28, 2007
Posts: 146
Status: Offline
|
|
I would suggest marriage counseling.
I hope and pray you find a good one. |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
iumom
|
|
|
Post subject: RE: Husband doesn
Posted: Aug 26, 2008 - 06:30 PM
|
|
Joined: Aug 26, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
|
|
Dear Midlifecrisis,
What a tough situation! I admit I would like my hubby to lose some weight, but we still have a physical relationship. But I can totally understand why you don't want to lose weight for him. My suggestion: Think of it as losing it for yourself. A bit of regular exercise will make YOU feel better and happier. It can help with stress, depression, and energy levels. Don't do it for him--do it for you! Try not to go with the flow...I think that flow can only lead downhill...marriage takes work, but that doesn't mean that working on yourself, for yourself, won't maybe help it out. Good luck. |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
smackie9
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Aug 27, 2008 - 03:55 AM
|
|
Moderator
Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 798
Status: Offline
|
|
| Weight isn't really the factor here. It's how you are feeling about yourself is. You feeling unattractive you will give off that vibe. And yes after being married and raising kids does put your relationship on the back burner. It's time to start dating each other again. You need to accept yourself, because we all do get older and gain some weight...that really shouldn't be a problem. Get a makeover, maybe buy some new clothes, do something different with your hair, get your nails done....pedicure? sexy shoes?Pamper yourself! You need to feel sexy again. Start planning nights out. Go do something different and forget about how dirty the house is, etc. You need to be a couple again. If your schedules are busy, designate two nights out of the week to go out. It's about reconnecting again. Once you achieve that, soon the sex will pick up again. |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
fiesta
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Sep 01, 2008 - 11:29 PM
|
|
Newbie
Joined: Sep 01, 2008
Posts: 31
Status: Offline
|
|
| midlifecrisis. I am a male There's nothing you're doing that's wrong. I think what you may have to do is to build up some confidence and such. You can work with your situation. I bet there's a lot you have to offer. The weight shouldn't be a problem. Oftentimes men will act like there is a problem with their women to mask the fact that they are "losing" some abilities. Don't take this personally. I think maybe you need to have your husband checked for hormone issues, blood pressure, etc. Is he 100% on this stuff? Even if he's thin and appears fit, he should have one heck of a sex drive that would not be encumbered by you gaining a few pounds. Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so. BTW, I'm 47 and I've been around the block a time or two. |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
babyface
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Sep 18, 2008 - 02:23 PM
|
|
Newbie
Joined: Jul 29, 2007
Posts: 56
Status: Offline
|
|
| is he seeing someone else , man in his 40s and that , dress sexy no mater what your size is dont just go to bed and wate for it to come to you go get him , if that dont work change the cock life is short we are here just once |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
jlo68
|
|
|
Post subject:
Posted: Nov 03, 2008 - 12:54 AM
|
|
Joined: Nov 03, 2008
Posts: 1
Status: Offline
|
|
It sounds like what has happened with you is the same thing that has happened to many marriages. It is no small challenge to keep the romance and intimacy in a marriage alive and kicking. Jobs, kids, activities....just about everything takes precedent over a couple's alone time.
***spam*** /admin |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
