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Snoopergirl
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Post subject: Crying baby
 Posted: May 21, 2008 - 11:49 AM
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Joined: Mar 19, 2008
Posts: 43
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I'd love to hear the opinions of other parents on this. I live with my in-laws. Difficult enough on its own, but they have their own ideas on how to raise my 7 month old son. They think it's wrong to let him cry for even a second, so while my husband is off to work every day, I'm at home with them (they don't work, they're always here) and do nothing but keep my son from crying. I have become a prisoner in my bedroom. I can't even go downstairs to make a cup of coffee.
I believed that it was wrong to teach a child that he can cry every time he wants attention. He's gotten to the point that every single time I try to put him down he starts screaming and I think this is wrong. He will be so needy and clingy when he's older and will never be able to function without his mommy. But if I leave him for a few minutes I get the wrath of the in-laws.
I love holding him, and being with him, and I hate it when he cries for any reason, but is it right to teach him that crying=attention?
I desperately want to get out of this house, but the only way we can afford that is if I get a job as well. I already can't sleep at night and lately my son is up at odd hours (3am, 5am, etc) crying not for food but attention! So getting up in the morning to work is out of the question. I am so stressed out it can't be good for him (or me), he feels my tension I'm sure of it. |
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whraven
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Post subject: RE: Crying baby
Posted: May 21, 2008 - 03:12 PM
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Joined: Jan 30, 2008
Posts: 44
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Kids are spoiled because you can't spank grandparents. I really sympathize, as you are in a very tough position. I would hope your husband would be supportive and talk to them, but if they won't listen to him or you, maybe you should "invite" them to an appointment with your pediatrician. Talk to the doctor before you go, and if he or she is agreeable (I sure hope so), the "why is he crying so much" checkup can turn into a firm lecture to your in-laws.
I really don't know if the doctor will agree, or if this will work, but other than finding another place to live, I really don't know of any alternatives, unless you can find someone else whose opinion they *do* respect who is willing to tell them that *you* are doing the right thing and that they are messing up their grandchild.
I really hope you find something that will work. My wife and I fought her parents a lot on this issue, and we're still fighting the aftereffects. |
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Snoopergirl
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Post subject: RE: Crying baby
Posted: May 22, 2008 - 02:52 PM
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Joined: Mar 19, 2008
Posts: 43
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Thank you for your support! I feel absolutely horrible about the way things are turning out here. In a very short time our baby went from well-behaved to spoiled rotten.
Unfortunately, these are not the sort of people that listen to authority. They're the ones who told be from the start to listen to the doctors/health visitors but then not do what they say, to do things "my way" and to not tell them if I'm doing something they wouldn't approve of. They really believe their way is best in everything!!
"Grandma" told me the other day that I should stop sterilizing his bottles because it's too much trouble and I don't need to do it. Of course I plan to keep doing it, I learned that it should be done up to a year, and I choose to do what "everyone else" including professionals say, not one person who thinks she's always right.
The only way out of this is to move out. But what awful habits will he have by the time we can do that?!  |
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whraven
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Post subject: RE: Crying baby
Posted: May 22, 2008 - 04:16 PM
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Joined: Jan 30, 2008
Posts: 44
Status: Offline
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You don't know how much I wish I could think of something that would help you now. I do hope you can move out soon, or at least manage some sort of separate living areas where you are now. I do hope the bad habits won't be too well established by the time you can move out. I really wish I could do more than wish you luck, but I certainly do wish you that.
(Yeah, lots of "wishes" in that sentence, but maybe that's good, huh?) |
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Snoopergirl
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Post subject:
Posted: May 23, 2008 - 10:53 AM
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Joined: Mar 19, 2008
Posts: 43
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I appreciate your response and your kind wishes.  I also hope we can move away soon or at least soon enough that these habits won't be irreversible.
I'll just keep wishing and hoping...  |
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