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Beatrice
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Post subject: Marriage Proposal
 Posted: Mar 03, 2008 - 11:22 PM
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Joined: Mar 03, 2008
Posts: 2
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Hi,
I would like some advice from you wise women out there.
I am 32 and have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, we are happy, get on well, don't really fight.
He proposed to me last year and I said that I wasn't ready, he has basically now given me an ultimatum, marry him or leave.
I am in complete turmoil, I always thought I would just know when I should get married. However I don't just know, if we split up I would be absolutly devasted. He treats me well, we love each other. You hear some awful stories on how women are treated by their partners. I know I am lucky to have him and Im not getting any younger.
I can't help thinking that if I don't just know then it isn't right.
Please help me
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smackie9
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Post subject:
Posted: Mar 04, 2008 - 02:09 AM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 808
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| It all depends on how you really feel. Asks yourself why you are not ready for marriage? Do you question that he may not be the one? You must remember that there has to be more than "he treats me well" in order to say yes. Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with him?? Do you fear that you will lose your identity? Did you feel in your heart when you started dating that you eventually wanted to marry him? |
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Beatrice
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Post subject:
Posted: Mar 04, 2008 - 07:08 PM
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Joined: Mar 03, 2008
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Status: Offline
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Thank you very much for your reply.
I think I definatly question whether he is 'the one' for me. But exactly what does the one mean?
Im not afraid to loose my identity because I don't think this will happen.
In the first couple of years I did think we would get married but now Im not so sure.
Have we just left it too long and now we are comfortable with the way things are, or was this just the 'honeymoon period'?
I am just so scared of making the wrong decision.
All these thoughts go around in my head, I think Im going slowly mad! |
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babyface
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Post subject:
Posted: Mar 04, 2008 - 10:32 PM
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Joined: Jul 29, 2007
Posts: 56
Status: Offline
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| it seems a bit strange to me that he could say marry me or leave , from a man that loves you , you should first find out what is marriage to you bought what it would change in your life |
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Jessiqe
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Posted: Mar 05, 2008 - 04:55 AM
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Joined: Jan 11, 2008
Posts: 18
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I sort of understand how he feels about the marry me or leave portion. I gave my boyfriend (now fiancee) the same ultimatum. I told him if we weren't married or at least engaged by the time I am 25, I would leave him. I'm 23 now and we finally did get engaged, we have been together for 8 years now. I think he just feels like he knows that your the one and he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, he knows too that he's not getting any younger as well. But its your choice and you have to be willing to marry him for the right reasons and because you absolutely love him and can see yourself with him for the rest of your life! Good luck with which ever answer you choose. Just be honest with yourself and with him! 
Jessica
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smackie9
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Post subject:
Posted: Mar 06, 2008 - 01:34 AM
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Joined: Aug 14, 2004
Posts: 808
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| Don't get married if you don't feel it in your heart. You are at a point when the "honeymoon" part of your relationship has passed so this maybe a sign that getting married isn't the right thing to do. You should never have to marry because you are put under pressure......think about it, what if you did get married and 7 years go by and you realize this isn't what you really wanted. I suggest marriage counseling before you get married. They pull out all the issues that you both have to make decisions on, like where do you want to live, how many children and when you are going to have them, etc. You may come out of it with a better idea of what you want to do. |
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kellyd
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Post subject:
Posted: Jan 03, 2009 - 11:38 AM
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Joined: Mar 01, 2008
Posts: 7
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| take the decision with calm - it is a lifetime decision all the best |
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